Slushy, CPAL HQ – In recent weeks the community has been rocked by the arrival of Alberto, with many taking a strong liking to the individual who hides behind a word document profile picture. I decided it was time to investigate and search for the answers the community is looking for, who is Alberto? what is Alberto? Why is Alberto? and most importantly, was Tes7 the greatest leader the Water Vikings ever had? Lets find out. Caution: Satire post, do not take anything in this post seriously.
In the early hours of the 21st of June, the army league learned the identities of the first CPAL Small/Medium army legends since 2018, while some were successful in their campaign, others however were not. Alberto, leader of the Alberto Warriors being one of those not inducted even with the majority of 6 yes votes. Upon further research, Alberto had only said a few words since these recent announcements most notably the words “I am sad” which he announced in the Alberto Warriors server. Alberto has not been spotted since this post and this has people wondering, could this be the end of Alberto? and finally, will they ever know who Alberto is? Let’s have a look at the following
Where to begin with Test Cargo. When Alberto first appeared in the Ice Warriors server as Ice Warriors leader, Cargo had suddenly gone MIA. While this did go unsuspected at first, during the time of writing it did catch my attention as it now seems fishy. But the attention came to Cargo who was once dubbed “Lil Alberto” could be the man himself. When the nominees for Small Medium Legend were announced (which you can find here). The standout thing we can see is that after Alberto, you will see (Cargo), This seemed to confuse the former SWAT, Ice Warriors, Shadow Troops, Light Troops, Dark Warriors(Oh my lord man how many armies have you been in?) leader. As he took to the CPAL Discord server to ask questions to current board member and S/M Legend, LuciferStar. (ReganStar will rise)
While Lucifer has yet to comment on if this was a typo or his evidence to support that Cargo is in fact, Alberto, or even the possibility that Lucifer just thought his new car was voice-activated and said car go with speech to text on. It surely cannot be a coincidence that Cargo has managed to attend all 4 of Alberto Warriors events. This leads to another question, Could Cargo have been multi logging with Alberto? As a reporter, it is my job to seek out the truth. This is why I have to announce that in Fusion’s post titled “Army League Investigate Badboy’s Work Environment” in which an undercover member of the community entered Badboy’s Dunkin Donut store, I will reveal that the undercover member was Test Cargo himself. One thing left out of Fusions post is that on the Dunkin menu in this specific location, there is a meal called ” 5 for 1″ in which you receive one donut of your choice, one soft drink, and then Badboy will share the advanced secrets of multi logging to you.
With such an extraordinary deal, I later discovered it is only available at Badboy’s Dunkin Donut and was scribbled onto the with a sharpie with the words “NDA 4EVA” underneath. Now don’t even ask me who NDA and Eva are because I have no idea. In my search for answers, I decided to email Dunkin Donuts directly. After hours of waiting for a reply, I decided it was time to give up Tinder and check if Dunkin had responded. In terms of getting a response, I was unsuccessful.
Lets time travel a little bit ladies and gentlemen, all the way back to the time that we all forgot, yes of course I am talking about last Friday. where in the Alberto Warriors server, Cargo announced that he was in fact Alberto all along, This is after Cargo had asked questions towards Lucifer, why the sudden change of heart? I’ll tell you why, Cargo, had a Small/Medium shaped hole in his heart that could only be filled with the pride and joy of being a S/M Legend. Which is why he decided to embrace Alberto as his own.
There we have it ladies and gentlemen, with a bit research we can uncover who these individuals are, as I think I have proven that Alberto is to Cargo, is the SplogSauce to his Carmelo, the Afternoon to his Carmelo, the Rory to his…. you get the gist.
Was Tes7 the greatest Water Vikings leader of all time?
Yes here we are the question you were all waiting for, I asked WV troops both past and present if Tes7 was the greatest Water Vikings leader of all time. Here are the results
There we have it folks, Tes7, the greatest Water Vikings leader ever.
Why do you think Cargo started the Alberto Campaign? Should Alberto be a S/M Army Legend? Do you agree with Funks, Pjayo, and Buddy’s judgment? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below!