The Alberto Warriors

NOTE: Some parts are satiric, don’t take everything I say for granted.

UNKNOWN TERRITORY, Alberto Warriors Nation – The Alberto Warriors came around after a very controversial issue, Regan getting bullied, in the Ice Warriors. Regan decided to retire, unretire, name Kala leader, demote her, and then name a famous person named Alberto as leader.

Alberto couped for the first time.

Alberto had a short stint as leader before, until Regan couped him as shown above. This was a very sad day, but soon after, many people forgot and continued their happy/sad/meh days. Alberto was a loved figure in Ice Warriors, for always being so nice. It was a shock that he could have even been couped, for he did not do much good or bad as leader the first time. However, Alberto was determined to get back his leader position, no matter what else happened afterwards. He helped IW a lot, and Regan himself still really liked Alberto.

Afterward, Alberto came on randomly for random reasons, until the point he was reinstated as the “Next Top Admin” by Regan. At this time, it was believed that he was going to be leader again, until Regan disappointed all by couping him in the next 5 seconds. This time was unfortunate, as soon after, we heard that many leaders and staff left to the Pirates. However, Alberto stayed, not as leader, but still influential. When I saw this happened, I started adding together all the details at this point in time: Regan going to the Pirates, Alberto staying, and Regan instating Alberto continuously. This led me to ask the question: Is Alberto really just Regan’s alt on Discord? Does Regan have an alt on CP Armies: The Game named “Alberto”, which is why he did not attend the Alberto Warriors’ opening and celebration events? Was Regan going over to the Pirates a scheme cooked up between Icey and Regan AKA “Alberto” in order to get all the other leaders, Staff, and Trusted Staff back?

A few days later, on June 5th 2020, Regan announced that he was stepping down, due to repeated counts of bullying from the staff, and hoping for a leadership position at the Water Vikings, who recently came over to CP Army League. Many people were sad, as the DANG COOL judge himself was leaving the Ice Warriors yet again. Initially, he named kala, a staff member, as a leader, until she was couped within 10 seconds. Next, he named the man, the myth, the legend himself, Alberto, as leader. This turned into a free-for-all, with the discord being turned into a “WE WANT REGAN” chant. Alberto promoted S Cargo2 to his trusted right hand man, and turned into a sort of dictatorship, until Ot_ter and CPMaster created their own versions of the Alberto Warriors, eventually merging. At this point in time, Alberto said “I am gone”, also changing his profile picture from saying “I am Alberto” to “I am gone”. This was a sad moment, as Alberto was the leader everyone wanted.

The beloved uniform for the Alberto Warriors.

At approximately 7:20 PM EST, the Alberto Warriors held their opening event, surprising all with a max of 12. Their uniform is pictured above. Many considered the move to the Alberto Warriors, until Alberto himself said that “There will only be one event.” This would be the Invasion of Brumby, to take it from Animal Kingdom. Alberto reassured the AK leaders however, that they would give it back. Alberto said, shortly before this, that he was gonna retire because Mehakk and 32op did not accept his army sign up. This was sad, but eventually, 32 came and accepted this legendary army. I was lucky enough to get a word with Alberto himself:

Interview with Alberto, Former IW leader and Alberto Warriors leader:

CPAL: When will the Alberto Warriors shut down, as your first event itself is considered “invalid” by Leila, Leader of the Animal Kingdom?

Alberto: Alberto Warriors lives on in the heart of every believer of Alberto, Alberto Warriors will never die

CPAL: Are you Regan’s alt?

Alberto: I am offended you would consider that imbecile to be me, Regan is the biggest noob I’ve met since oregan619, and that guy was a noob.

CPAL: Is Regan a furry?

Alberto: Define furry.

CPAL: A furry is like Mehakk

Alberto: Regan is not Mehakk, Regan is Regan and Mehakk is Mehakk.

CPAL: Ok then, Alberto. Are you Jesus?

Alberto: I am Alberto

CPAL: How long do you think you will be in the Ice Warriors as a leader?

Alberto: Until I see the return of my dear friend, Da Best as 6ic.

CPAL: Is there anything else you would like to express to our beloved readers, O Mighty Alberto?

Alberto: https://icewarriorsofcp.com/

As shown above, all of my thoughts and our readers’ thoughts were wrong. As Alberto is someone we can trust, as he as never told lies before, he has shown that Regan is a noob and not a furry. He has also repeatedly said “I am Alberto. Leader of the Ice Warriors”, leading me to believe that he is actually Albert417, the second leader of the Ice Warriors. However, we cannot be sure of any of my theories until further research. Until next time, our team will thoroughly look through all records to see if we match any finds of the name “Alberto”, and to see just how successful he was. We will also look into Regan being a noob and not a furry, although I personally doubt that second point(Check this post here to see Regan’s supposed research and furry dating profile).

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Do YOU think that Regan is a furry? Do YOU think that the Alberto Warriors will stay intact as long as there are believers in the cause? Do YOU think that Da Best will ever be allowed to return as a 6ic into the Ice Warriors(I personally hope so)? Let us know YOUR opinions and comments below!

Cookie Monster

CP Army League Reporter

2 thoughts on “The Alberto Warriors

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